Month: November 2021

Facts to Know About Suicide:

• Suicide is the leading cause of violent death in Wisconsin.
• Firearms are the most common method used in suicide, followed by hanging and poisoning.
• A previous suicide attempt or the loss of a love done or friend to suicide can increase the risk.

Suicide is often preventable with education, treatment and support. 60–90% of people that die by suicide have a treatable mental illness or alcohol/drug abuse problem.

Things to Look Out for:

Warning Signs-

• Talking about suicide or wanting to die
• Recent crises, losses, stress; they can be financial, personal, relationships, illness and pain
• Untreated mental illness and alcohol/drug abuse
• Access to methods of suicide: fi rearms, poisons, suffocation/hanging

Feelings-

• No reason for living
• Hopelessness/helplessness
• Trapped/no way out
• Anger, rage
• Anxiety, agitation
• Extreme mood changes
• Heavy guilt

Behaviors-

• Big changes in eating and/or sleeping
• Risk-taking behaviors
• Impulsiveness
• Alcohol/Drug use/abuse
• Withdrawing from family/friends/usual activities
• Making final arrangements; giving away prized possessions
• Planning and preparing for suicide

“Spur-of-the-moment behavior appears to play an important role in suicide. Suicide prevention experts believe that if deadly methods are not readily available when a person decides to attempt suicide, he or she can delay the attempt. If delayed, it may allow for the possibility of later deciding not to attempt suicide, or using less deadly methods, allowing for greater possibility of medical
rescue.” -From the South Central Idaho SPAN Chapter, Steps to Prevent Suicide brochure

If you see these changes in yourself or someone else call:
1-608-280-2600 Crisis Line available 24/7
1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

What to do:

Firearms-

• Remove all firearms (shotguns, handguns, hunting rifles) from the home. Ask extended family and/or friends to store them
• Contact your local police about safe gun storage
• Get and use cable gun locks
• Lock gun cabinet or safe, store all keys in a separate location from the gun
• Keep all bullets separate from gun(s)
• Store gun(s) unloaded

Medications & Poisons-

• Destroy unused and outdated medications
• Fill drug prescriptions in small quantities
• Buy over the counter medications in small quantities
• Store all medications and poisons in a secure place

Hanging & Suffocation-

• Many items in the home can be used for suicide by hanging or suffocation
• Be alert to the risk factors and warning signs of suicide

Alcohol & Drugs-

• Monitor alcohol and drug use; as they can increase impulsivity and make symptoms worse

Resources:

For emergency help if someone is in immediate risk of suicide
CALL 9-1-1
Call 1-800-273-8875 (TALK)
Press 1 for those who are a Veteran

For additional information:

Dane County residents:
Call 608-280-2600 Crisis Line (available 24/7)
Mental Health Center of Dane County
Dane County Access to Services Map:
www.safercommunity.net

HOPES – Helping Others Prevent and Educate About Suicide at
www.hopes-wi.org

Mental Health America of WI at
www.mhawisconsin.org

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Sources:

AFSP – American Foundation of Suicide Prevention at
www.afsp.org

AAS – American Association of Suicidology at
www.suicidology.org

Suicide Prevention Task Force of Safe Communities at
www.safercommunity.net

WI-DHFS, Division of Public Health, Injury Prevention Program – WI Violent Injuries and Death Report at
www.dhfs.wisconsin.gov/wish/

Youth Suicide Steps to Prevent Suicide, South Central Idaho SPAN Chapter at
www.spanidaho.org

What are Depression and Depressive illnesses?

Depression and depressive illnesses occur when chemicals in the brain, such as serotonin, become unbalanced or disrupted. A person who has depression does not think like a healthy person. The illness can prevent them from understanding the options available to help relieve their suffering. Many people who experience depression report feeling as though they’ve lost the ability to imagine a happy future, or remember a happy past. Often they don’t realize they’re suffering from a treatable Illness and seeking help may not even enter their mind. Emotions and even physical pain can become unbearable. It’s not that they want to die, but they may think it’s the only to end the pain. Experiencing depression is involuntary, just like cancer or diabetes, but it is a treatable illness that can be managed.

How Do Alcohol/Drugs Affect Depression?

Alcohol or drug use can be lethal for a person experiencing depression. Attempting to alleviate the symptoms of depression by drinking or using drugs can increase the risk of suicide by impairing judgment and increasing impulsivity.

Can a Person Mask Their Depression?

Many people experiencing depression and even contemplating suicide can hide their feelings and appear to be happy. Sometimes a suicidal person will give clues as to how desperate he/she feels.

Why do People Attempt Suicide When They Appear to Feel Better?

Sometimes a severely depressed person contemplating suicide doesn’t have enough energy to attempt suicide. As the disease lifts she/he may regain some energy but feelings of hopelessness remain, and the increased energy levels contribute to acting on suicidal feelings. Another theory proposes that a person may “give in” to the disease because she/he can’t fight it anymore. This may relieve some anxiety, which makes her/him appear calmer in the period preceding a suicide attempt.

Is Depression the Same as the Blues?

We need to understand that grief and clinical depression are different. It is normal and even expected to feel badly (feel grief) after losing someone, or experiencing a disappointing or traumatic event. This grief can stay with us for a very long time. However, consistently experiencing the symptoms of clinical depression for longer than two weeks may indicate the presence of an illness and warrants consultation with a physician or mental health professional.

Why do Depressive illnesses sometimes lead to suicidal thoughts?

There is a direct link between depressive illnesses and suicide. Depressive illnesses can distort thinking so a person can’t think clearly or rationally. The illness can cause thoughts of hopelessness and helplessness, which may lead to suicidal thoughts.

What Causes a Depressive Illness?

A combination of genetic, psychological, and environmental factors play a role in how and when a depressive illness manifests. Because these are illnesses, stress doesn’t necessarily have to be present, but can trigger or exacerbate a depression. Depression can appear when there seems to be no reason for a person to feel depressed. People of all ages, including infants and children (who may be born with a chemical imbalance), can experience depressive illnesses. Since they may be genetically predisposed to depression, a person may be at higher risk than someone whose family doesn’t have a history of depression. This doesn’t mean everyone will inherit a depressive illness.

Can Depressive Illnesses be Treated?

Yes. There are various ways to treat depressive illnesses depending on the type of illness, the severity, and the age of the person being treated. A person experiencing depression should not try to manage his/her own illness. Depression is a condition like diabetes or high blood pressure that can be effectively managed with the help of a physician, mental health counselor, etc.

If a Person has Experienced a Suicide Loss, are They at Higher Risk for Suicide?

Statistics do show that those who have lost a close friend or family member to suicide are at higher risk themselves, probably for a combination of reasons. There may be a biological predisposition toward depression in some families; in addition, the “modeling” of suicidal behavior by a person important to one’s life or the thoughts of a grieving person about joining the loved one in death may all play part in the increased risk. Most importantly, treatments for depression are steadily improving and are often highly effective. Furthermore, counseling and support for those who have lost someone to suicide is very helpful to survivors as they move forward in their lives.

From SAVE website with adaptations by MHCDC/SOS

Grief is as old as mankind but is one of the most neglected of human problems. As we become aware of this neglect, we come to realize the enormous cost that it has been to the individual, to the families and to society, in terms of pain and suffering because we have neglected the healing of grief. Essential to a grieving person is to have at least one person who will allow them, give them permission to grieve. Some people can turn to a friend or to a family member. Some find a support group that will allow one to be the way one needs to be at the present as they work through their grief.
Dealing appropriately with grief is important in helping to preserve healthy individuals and nurturing families, to avoid destroying bodies and their psyche, their marriages and their relationships. You can postpone grief but you cannot avoid it. As other stresses come along, one becomes less able to cope if one has other unresolved grief. It requires a great deal of energy to avoid grief and robs one of energy for creative expression in relating to other people and in living a fulfilling life. It limits one’s life potential.

Suppressing grief keeps one in a continual state of stress and shock, unable to move from it. Our body feels the effects of it in ailments. Our emotional life suffers. Our spiritual life suffers. We say that the person is “stuck in grief”. When a person faces his grief, allows his feeling to come, speaks of his grief, allows its expression, it is then that the focus is to move from death and dying and to promote life and living.

Learning the ‘okays’ of Grief:

IT’S OKAY TO GRIEVE: The death of a loved one is a reluctant and drastic amputation, without any anesthesia. The pain cannot be described, and no scale can measure the loss. We despise the truth that the death cannot be reversed, and that somehow our dear one returned. Such hurt!! It’s okay to grieve.
IT’S OKAY TO CRY: Tears release the flood of sorrow, of missing and of love. Tears relieve the brute force of hurting, enabling us to “level off” and continue our cruise along the stream of life. It’s okay to cry.
IT’S OKAY TO HEAL: We do not need to “prove” we loved him or her. As the months pass, we are slowly able to move around with less outward grieving each day. We need not feel “guilty”, for this is not an indication that we love less. It means that, although we don’t like it, we are learning to accept death. It’s a healthy sign of healing. It’s okay to heal.
IT’S OKAY TO LAUGH: Laughter is not a sign of “less” grief. Laughter is not a sign of “less” love. It’s a sign that many of our thoughts and memories are happy ones. It’s a sign that we know our memories are happy ones. It’s a sign that we know our dear one would have us laugh again. It’s okay to laugh.

No two people will ever grieve the same way, with the same intensity or for the same duration.

It is important to understand this basic truth. Only then can we accept our own manner of grieving and be sensitive to another’s response to loss. Only then are we able to seek out the nature of support we need for our own personalized journey back to wholeness and be able to help others on their own journey. Not understanding the individuality of grief could complicate and delay whatever grief we might experience from our own loss. It could also influence us, should we attempt to judge the grieving of others -even those we might most want to help.

Each of us is a unique combination of diverse past experiences. We each have a different personality, style, various way of coping with stress situations, and our own attitudes influence how we accept the circumstances around us. We are also affected by the role and relationship that each person in a family system had with the departed, by circumstances surrounding the death and by influences in the present.

Many people refer to the “stages” or “phases” of grief. It may be helpful to be aware of these identified phases or common aspects of grief. It is also important to know there is no right or wrong way to grieve. You may go back and forth between phases, experience more than one at a time, or even skip one all together. All feelings are normal, even if they seem “crazy”.

The Phases of Grief:

• Shock is the first stage of numbness, disbelief and unreality.
• Denial is thoughts or words such as, “I don’t believe it — It can’t be!”
• Bargaining involves making promises such as, “I’ll be so good if only I can awaken to find this hasn’t happened” or “I’ll do all the right things if only…”
• Guilt is a hard stage and difficult to deal with alone. This is a normal feeling characterized by statements such as, “If only I had/If only I had not…” done or said or thought something. Guilt may ultimately be resolved by understanding that all of us are human beings who give the best and worst of ourselves to others. What they do with what we give is their responsibility.
• Anger is another very difficult phase, but it may seem necessary in order to face reality and get beyond the loss. We all must heal in our own way and anger is a normal stage along the way. However, you may feel guilty because you are angry at the person who died or because your life is continuing while his or hers is not. If you don’t feel anger, don’t manufacture it!
• Depression may come and go and be different each time in length and/or intensity. Give yourself time to heal.
• Resignation means you finally believe the reality of the death.
• Acceptance and Hope come when you finally understand that you will never be the same, but you can go on to have meaning and purpose in your life.

Here are four steps toward surviving tragedy and loss.

Four ‘Tasks’ of Grief:

• Tell the story: Talk about what has happened until it becomes real. Talk to caring family and friends, attend a support group, begin individual work with a mental health professional, but find a way to speak about the person who died and how the death has impacted your life and family. Tell the story until you don’t need to tell it anymore. Chances are, you will be close to acceptance at that point.
• Express the Emotions: Grief is filled with conflicting tidal waves of emotion. Just when you think you’ve accepted the death, disbelief may sweep over you again. You may feel intense anger along with equally intense feelings of love and loss. Or, in the midst of crying about the person’s death, a sense of unreality may surface again. No matter what the range of emotions, all are to be expected during grief. It is crucial to get the emotions outside of yourself. “Stuffed” feelings can build and build and become overwhelming. Scream, cry, write, draw, punch a punching bag, tell an empathetic someone, take a walk, do SOMETHING to express what you feel.
• Make Meaning from the Loss: Nothing can make what has happened “okay”. Life is turned upside down and changed forever. However, you can determine that something good and reasonable will come out of the unreasonable tragedy that you are experiencing. At some point, you may be able to accept the reality that your loved one’s entire life was not defined by his or her last decision – to die. Nothing can take away the good things the person accomplished. When you are ready, you may reach out to others with similar experiences… or set up a scholarship or other appropriate memorial in the person’s name … or work in some capacity to better the lives of others. There are many, many ways to make meaning from tragedy.
• Transition from the Physical Presence of the Person to the New Relationship: while missing the physical presence of a loved one in our lives may continue well into the future, it is possible to transition into acceptance of the person’s nonphysical presence. What can that relationship be? For some, it is memories and love carried in our hearts. No one can take away our memories and, as long as we treasure love for the person who has died, they are not forgotten. The new relationship may be spiritual or in some other way in keeping with religious beliefs.

Originally distributed by:
The Link Counseling Center’s National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention and Aftercare
348 Mt. Vernon Highway, N.E.,
Atlanta, GA 30328
404-256-9797